In preparation for reading this blog post, I’d like to ask you to think of something in your life that requires you making a choice. Maybe something you’ve been struggling with. Got it? OK. Hold that thought.
I’m coming into a brand-new realization about the power I have to choose what I want for myself and for my life. It lies in the distinction between “deciding” and “choosing”.
Here’s a short summary of the distinction:
The word DECIDE has its root in the CIDE family of words…Homicide, Pesticide, Genocide…all words meaning to kill off, or to make something go away. In order to make a decision, we look at all of our options and then one by one, we kill them off, leaving one on the table and that’s what we decide upon. In my experience, this never leaves me feeling confident that I made the right decision, and I walk away uncertain, but decided.
Here’s an example:
Recently, my son had $20 and wanted to buy a Kendama (those wooden toys with a ball on a string that you try to catch). He and I stood in front of the display for what felt like hours. He finally narrowed it down to two different brands, both the same price. After watching him go back and forth several times, I suggested that he open up all of the possibilities again and then simply CHOOSE the one he wanted. He immediately grabbed one and away we went. Happy customer, no buyers’ remorse.
Choosing is different. In choosing, we simply choose something because we choose it. We like it, it feels right for us, we’re drawn to it, and we freely choose it. There is no argument, no list of pros and cons, no tug-of-war. So here’s where my epiphany comes in.
We get to choose the life we want.
We really do. Not by weighing out all the options, carefully planning and projecting and eliminating, but by choosing.
If I want a healthy body, I choose a healthy body.
If I want a happy marriage, I choose a happy marriage.
If I want to make a difference, I can choose to wake up today and make a difference.
If I want abundance, I choose abundance.
Here’s the catch. All of these things are only possible, if I CHOOSE my life exactly as it is, right here, right now.
I choose my marriage. I choose my body. I choose my job. I choose the house that I live in. I choose my teenager. I choose my bank account.
I choose today, just as it is.
The law of attraction says that for me to choose anything else, keeps me focused on what I don’t have. Lack, absence, what’s missing. And as long as I’m focused on what’s missing, I will stay in what’s missing. It’s only in embracing myself and my life RIGHT NOW that I am able to stand in the space of what’s possible for the future.
Here’s the really cool thing for me about this realization. The moment I choose my teenage son, just as he is right now, I begin to see his Bigness. I see him as the infinite possibility of who he really is, and not in the smallness of his current actions.
I see my marriage from a place of possibility. We’re two people who can do amazing things together!
I see my work as a place to make a difference today.
I see my 51-year-old body in its strength and energy and experience instead of as what it used to be. I feel so much power, and peace in choosing today, exactly as it is. And I believe with everything in me that its only when we accept ‘what is’ that ‘what is’ will change.
I fully understand how “woo woo” and new age-y this sounds. But give it some thought. I’ve told the women in my 9am classes for years, “If you hate your ass, it’s going to follow you around until you start loving it!” It’s freaking true.
We’re a nation of people that has been hating our bodies into obesity and diabetes and heart disease. We’ve been hating our marriages into staggering divorce rates. We hate, we complain, we buy, we stay stuck. Maybe it’s time for a change…time for a choice.
Go back to the first question I asked you. Where in your life can you choose…